


333 Ways to Get Kicked Out of World Academy

by WeaponFrayer



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Crack, Nyotalia, Randomness, lots of references
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-25
Updated: 2016-03-26
Packaged: 2018-05-28 22:58:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6348958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeaponFrayer/pseuds/WeaponFrayer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based off of iTorchic's "333 Ways to Get Kicked Out of..." series. Rated T for crack, swears, and references. Contains loads (that was sarcastic) of sanity! Some OC's are included, but not at the beginning. Imported from FanFiction.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1 through 5

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Trickstress](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trickstress/gifts).
  * Inspired by [333 Ways to Get Kicked Out of the UN](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/184729) by iTorchic. 



> Well, here's the what I'd deem my most successful story/fic, directly from FanFiction.
> 
> I'd like to thank the immense amount of people who made the references in this fic possible, including Sacha Baron Cohen, Alexey Pajitnov, the great people at Blue Lake Fine Arts Camp, and most of all, the granddaddy of this entire genre, iTorchic.
> 
> Thank you guys, and I hope I can get back to actual updating. :)

**1\. Find a friend.**

"So...what do you want to do?"

Japan looked at Greece funny. "Um...haha...would you like to see my flower garden?"

Greece looked back. After 2 minutes of waiting (Japan was getting impatient), he finally answered.

"Yea...that would be nice..."

**2\. Go on a treasure hunt.**

"Dudes! Dudes! I found this totally awesome map in my room! I think it'll lead to treasure!"

"You arsehat! Everyone got a map!" England was grabbing America's collar, as he groaned.

China was thinking. _Hmm...if America find treasure first, then he could pay off debt to me..._

A few minutes later, the 5 nations in the B Wing of World Academy had found out that Egypt had already taken the treasure.

"WHY?! I WANT STUPID AMERICA TO PAY OFF STUPID DEBT TO ME!"

"Hey!"

**3\. Discover an unhealthy obsession.**

No one could deny it; they all had obsessions; America had his hamburgers, England was intentionally letting UST getting between him and France, France had his roses, and various perversions, China had his (or her) pandas, and Russia was...well, Russia.

But no one expected the day, when Egypt reverted to his Egyptian Army side, and started to seize other countries stuff.

"My food!"

"Dude! Why did you took my hamburger?!"

"My iPhone!"

"Watch out for other people, eh!"

"My appliances!"

"My blender!"

**4\. Hide from your worst nightmare.**

It was a never ending cycle:

As Lithuania was running from a somewhat yandere Poland, and Prussia and Russia, who were both beating each other up, he then saw Belarus, stalking Russia. "Oh Bela~ I wish-"

"Kesese! You are mine now, you ass face!"

"Oww..."

Then, Belarus saw.

In mere moments, everyone involved in the chase, except Russia, had been beaten up 9 degrees to hell, or worse.

"Now brother... _marry me, marry me, marry me..._ "

Russia was pale in fear, and shut his room's door, remembering to lock it.

**5\. Harass another student under protection.**

"Smack! Smack!"

France was smacking Italy with, not just any stick, but _Herr Stick._

Germany saw this, and before France could say Germany, France was beaten to a bloody pulp.

"Wahh! Germany! Germany! Big Brother France was hitting on me! And he was also trying to hit me!"

Germany looked at Italy who was crying a bit. Suddenly, he realized what Italy has said. "Wait, what?"


	2. 6 through 10

**6\. Enter a cooking contest.**

"Ohonon~ My cooking is ze best in the entire world!"

"YOU BLOODY FROG, YOUR'S ISN'T EVEN IN THE TOP INFINITY!"

"Ve~ Do you like my pasta, Germany~?"

"I think my cooking will win, _da?_ "

" **NO ONE BEATS MCDONALD'S!** "

All of the other countries shot up and stared at him. The supervisor, who was the former Kalmar Union glared.

"AMERICA! TO DETENTION!"

"Aww...'

**7\. Revert to your rock persona.**

England had reluctantly agreed to this, only for the day, though. However, he got a little carried away...

" _Don't want to be an American idiot!_ "

" **NOOOO NOT THIS SONG!** "

When he sobered, up, he found roses from France, and a thank-you note signed by Canada, China, and Russia, out of all people.

**8\. Play Risk.**

Lots of great things happened, or were at least were expected to happen, when the teachers left all of the students with 40 boards for Risk.

Or so they thought.

It turned out, that even though Australia was on the complete other side of the world, he was able not only conquer Russia and China in less than 10 turns, but also trap America between him and France.

"Hahaha! That's what you get for insulting me, limey!"

The game was therefore banned from they academy from then on out.

**9\. Write a book.**

"Ve~ Germany, what are you doing~?"

Germany shot up from his seat. "Scheiße! Oh, it's you Italy. I'm writing a book."

"Ve~ What is it about~?"

"Um...uh..."

Italy looked at the book.

"Hm~? Did you get that from Japan~?"

"Uh..um..."

**10\. Go out to eat.**

" _And what would you like to order?_ "

"OK! I would like to have 4 Big Macs, 5 large orders of French fries-"

"Hey!"

"-and 3 large Cokes!"

" _Anything else?_ "

"Can I get an ice cream cone, and a large coffee? And please make it with a Splenda, and some cream, eh?"

" _Anything else?_ "

"That would be all!"

" _Your total is 60 dollars and 20 cents._ "

America paled.

"Um, hey Mattie, hehe...do you happen to have 50 bucks on you?"

Canada glared at him.

"Why you little..."

And that's how the other countries found out how America ended up in a roadside ditch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 7 is based off of a fanflash on YouTube. And yes, in Norway, it costs more than 7 dollars (in US money) to buy one freaking Big Mac.


	3. 11 through 15

**11\. Go to a concert.**

It was even worse than England's persona:

California was right now causing a fuss at the concert, as America was trying to cover his ears. Meanwhile, Russia was singing along to the lyrics, Canada was yelling, and China was selling the album of the performance at a low price.

"Free CD's! Only cost $10!"

"GIMME!"

"LALALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"

**12\. Discover an Internet meme.**

"OMG! Is that a Twilight video?!"

Hungary rolled down her sleeves, and put her earphones on.

She pressed the link, expecting to find a parody video about vampires.

Instead-

" _Never gonna give you up, never gonna-_ "

" **PRUSSIA! I'LL KILL YOU, YOU LITTLE-** "

She hit the ground running, falling to her own weapon, as Moldova held Hungary's frying pan.

"Don't touch Uncle Prussia!"

**13\. Write a song.**

Canada had gotten his revenge on the world:

America had known it the moment it would happen, and wisely (for once) sprinted out of the club room, heading for the basement. He knew Canada's weapon, which was even more deadly than his Rickroll Generator.

" _Baby, baby, baby oh~_ "

" **OH GOD!** "

" **THE PAIN! IT'S UNBEARABLE!** "

Suddenly, a figure, that made France's perv tendencies pale in comparison, and made even Spain shoot up, came into the room.

Every jawline in the room popped, as a bear came into the room.

" _Would you like to play?_ "

" **FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU** "

**14\. Recreate an RL event.**

Everyone in the club room was shivering cold; even the normally composed Germany was shaking like Latvia, as America and Russia growled at each other, above a chess board.

The pieces were frozen into place, but America's literally burning exterior was the only thing letting them play, without Russia freezing the entire room.

"So Ivan...take your next move..."

Russia's cold, hard eyes shot a cold glare that made Germany want to cry; the former Soviet Bloc nations were on Russia's side, shivering, while all of the other nations were on America's side of the room.

"...I will Comrade, da?"

Even hell froze over on that fateful day.

**15\. Watch _Twitch_.**

No one expected the mysterious streamer to come up with such a masterpiece, but he did, and it was a hit.

When America found out months later, Australia had archived every living second of the stream on his iPad meant for education, replacing gigabytes of data with hours of Red running into walls.

"Dude! That's awesome!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 11 is a callback (can I call it a callback?) to 7. 13 is obviously Pedobear. 15 is basically a recreation of another way on my Pokemon list, which itself is based off of Twitch Plays Pokemon.


	4. 16 through 20

**16\. Get drunk.**

No one knew what had happened at America's mini-bar, but from the looks of Hungary's camcorder, it was a mess:

Switzerland was letting the other countries into his own; he was positively drunk.

Austria was slamming his prized violin into a wall; again, drunk as a German.

Meanwhile, Canada was finished seizing Russia's northern vital regions.

"HAHAHA! THE HERO'S BROTHER STRIKES AGAIN!"

"Get...off..of...my pipe...da?"

**17\. Have a family gathering.**

Turkey was stressed out beyond imaginable belief:

Right now, Iran and Israel were trying to beat each other up, only stopped by Kurdistan, while she was trying to stop Iraq from hurting herself. Meanwhile, Syria was going into his bipolar disorder, one second having a conversation with Russia on the phone, the next yelling at Iraq to get out of his personal space.

Oh boy.

This was going to be a _long_ winter break.

**18\. Discuss who gets custody.**

The only thing that was stopping England and China from trying to kill each other, as the teachers were yelling, was Russia, who for once, wasn't laughing.

"Comrades, please stop, d-"

**-POW-**

"YOU DON'T DESERVE HONG KONG!"

"AT LEAST I'M NOT ABUSIVE PARENT!"

"...Mom? Dad? Can you guys stop fighting please?"

**19\. Start a blog.**

Canada peered down at his computer. In his e-mail, there was one e-mail that stood out from all of the other e-mails, all of them from America.

_Check out my awesome blog!_

_gilbertbeilschmidt.com_

Canada promptly facepalmed into his desk.

**20\. Go to a sporting event.**

"YEAH!"

"GO PEYTON! KICK WASHINGTON'S CRACK-SMOKING ASS!"

" **FOR THE FINAL TIME, I'M NOT WASHINGTON! I'M D.C!** "

_Meanwhile..._

"Oh God, football season!"

America tried to no avail, to barricade his house, as his 50 sons and daughters came running into his mansion.

"I WILL BEAT WISCONSIN ONCE AND FOR ALL!"

"SAYS THE GUY WHO THOUGHT THAT BEARS EAT CHEESE!"

"WHY YOU LITTLE..."

America slid into the emo corner of his basement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 17 is inspired by a kink meme fill.


End file.
